Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
