So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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