She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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