I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize