I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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