he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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