After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
