this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
