I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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