I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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