Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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