I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Even my vagina gasped.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
