does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
