I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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