Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
