I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
a search helicopter?!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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