is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm experimenting with sincerity
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
