I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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