now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Two words: blizzard sex
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
