So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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