I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
