All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
