I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
