So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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