Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
