I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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