he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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