i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize