White coat. Heels.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
