no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
