I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
