we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
