I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD