People in love make me want to vomit
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.