A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN