Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.