He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
