I love black thongs
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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