when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We named our party play list daddy issues
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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