"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
