And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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