i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
