Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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