It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize