Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
