Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
