Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
