he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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