to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize