I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
