I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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