# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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