I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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