am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
