I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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