Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
