I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
