I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
