My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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