We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
