Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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