Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
