When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
