It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am spending my child support on dildos
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
