There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
