Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
