I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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