i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
