i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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