So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
