You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
