when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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