her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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