your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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